New Career?

Dear Ms. P. Solver:

I just can't seem to get it together. I'm not sure if I want to be a singer or the Janis Joplin of the 21st century. Recently I've been thinking about changing careers and becoming a chemist. You see I love chemicals . I love them so much I spend all day in my lab mixing and experimenting with them. Just the other day I tried a new experiment and the results were disastrous! I ended up in the hospital and I had to pay my publicist extra to come up with a cover story on a short deadline. What shall I do? Please don't suggest rehab because I won't go go go....

with love,

Amy.

Dearest Amy,

I won't suggest rehab for you because everyone knows you have to reach your bottom before you can be helped. Unfortunately for you Ames, it looks like you bottom will be 6 feet below the surface of the earth. Since you insist on being a crackhead, I am sending you list of drugs that don't mix. Please refer to this guide the next time you rekindle your chemical romance.

Sincerely,

Ms. P. Solver.