Dear Ms. P. Solver,I never thought I'd see the day I'd pimp my "special needs" kid and pregnant daughter out to gain sympathy votes for the republican party, but one thing I did learn from my beauty pageant days is you've gotta do whatever it takes to win. I know I, like McCain, am in over my head, but can you offer any tidbits of advice to help ensure that I don't become a laughing stock?
Sincerely,
Governor of the frozen Tundra
Sarah
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, (exasperated sigh)
So many issues, so little time.
I am hesitant to give you any advice that could potentially help you gain points against the best hope for this country- Barack Obama. But, since you obviously need someone's help, the first thing I'd advise you to do is tap Mrs. McCain on the shoulder and see if you can pull her away from her cornucopia of pills long enough to direct you to the nearest stylist so you and your hair can join the 21st century. Those wispy bangs and 80's banana clip updo is not the business. Get it together girl! Don't you know that you are on a 2 month job interview? So far you have done all the things an interviewee is told not to do. What does a V.P do? well if I was applying for the job, I'd sure as hell do my research! Honestly Sarah, you have disappointed us right out the gate. My advice to you for the future is to get serious. Your demeanor and insipid remarks do not inspire confidence in your ability to run the country.
BTW, while you're pimping out your kids, are you aware that the republican party is pimping you?
Signed,
Mrs. P. Solver.
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