Politicos are celebs too.

Dear Ms. P. Solver,

I think I'm in over my head! All I wanted to do is ride on Airforce One and hear to words Mr. President. Now I am in a dead heat campaign with a brilliant, black ,wet behind the ears senator from Illinois. I really don't want this job but I can't lose to a black guy! But if I win, I will probably keel over in the first 3 months. The stress will be too much for my aged ticker to take. What should I do?

Cordially,

John

Dear Johnny boy,

You should follow your heart, (before it stops) to the nearest porch swing and sit your ass down. Have a glass of lemonade and tell war stories to the grandkids like the other senior citizens. Retire already! Your actions are reckless and disrupting the world order. Because of you, seniors around the globe are coming out of retirement with renewed gusto thinking they can change the world. Stop now and go away before the dead rise up and start running for office.

Signed,

Ms. P. Solver